1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I can’t think of one! And this is not good! What an unproductive year for me! Sure I did things, but something I’ve always done! I suppose this should be a wake up call for me, this year should be different, that by 2011, I would fill this space with a lot tales of adventures and travels, and activities I have never tried before.

This one’s easy! This year was the year I got married! =)

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t like making resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope

Yup! My sister-in-law, Aren, gave birth to Zia Keona.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
None, thank God.

Ugh, this was the one I was always afraid to answer every time. For the past years that I’ve been doing this, there was never anyone to write about, but for 2011, two of my relatives died. My maternal grandmother, Mamang, passed away last July 15, and my Tita Evelyn, my mom’s older sister, died almost 5 months later, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. 2011 was really heartbreaking, and I’m praying that this year would be different.

5. What countries did you visit?
FAIL! Again, I was not able to go anywhere, so this year, I will make it  a goal to put a stamp on my passport.

Haaaaayyyy, still no country. I feel so pathetic. But I’m hoping that things will change this year!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A savings account – yup still, but this year I think we’ll make it a joint savings account =)

I will have to be redundant and say that yes, I still need a savings account!

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I can’t remember the date, but the moment we finally decided.

April 12, 2011. =)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Hmmm, how about moving out of our parent’s house and getting our own place? =)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not traveling, and not losing weight =(

Same answer

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, just the usual dysmenorrheal

Morning sickness =(

11. What was the best thing you bought?

We recently bought a washing machine!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I honestly don’t know

My nieces and nephews, hehe

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
People from church, some students

Same people

14. Where did most of your money go?
food – isn’t it obvious?

Wedding expenses, then after that, bills, bills, bills and more bills! Oh, and of course food hehe

15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
New transitions in church

The wedding!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Hawak Kamay – Mamang’s song

The Best Thing – our song for our on-site video!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter?  fatter? thinner, just slightly
iii. richer or poorer? poorer, but for the best reasons!

i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter?  fatter? Fatter, but I have a valid reason!
iii. richer or poorer? poorer, but for the best reasons!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d saved more money

Same, I wish I saved money, especially with or bundle of joy coming in June!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate!

Complaining, or comparing my life with others.

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
We’ll go to my Tita’s house in Tandang Sora, then to the Flores side of the family, then to the Dela Cruz the next day, then on the day itself we’ll go to Bulacan

We did something new for 2011, originally we were really supposed to go to our tita’s house, but her husband’s sibling died, so instead we had media noche at my parents’ house in Fairview. We decided not to go to the Flores side anymore, because my mom felt it would be too sad since Mamang passed away there and she didn’t want to feel overwhelmed by all the memories.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Even more in love

Yep!

23. How many one-night stands?
None!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, Cougar Town, The Big Bang Theory

I loves Bones this year!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Thankfully none

Nope, I realize that time’s too short to let other persons affect you.

26. What was the best book you read?

I loved the Kate Daniel series by Ilona Andrews

Too many books, I’ll post about them another time.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
just fell in love with music all over again

28. What did you want and get?
plan for something

That automatic washing machine!

29. What did you want and not get?
travel

a savings account, and a stamp on my passport

30. Favorite film of this year?
I loved Flipped, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

I liked the film My Name is Khan, and 3 Idiots!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

turned 28, traveled most of the day to go to Bolinao

can I say I don’t remember?! Because I really don’t

32. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

putting a stamp on my passport, enrol for my MA

travel somewhere I’ve never been to,

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
comfortable

casual

34. What kept you sane?
Yash, reading, God

Same people

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp – this has been constant for the past 3 years!

Hmmm, Johnny Depp is looking old these days. I would have to say that guy from Thor?

36. Who is your real-person crush?
duh?

Do I still have to answer this even though I’m already married?

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
elections!

I can’t remember

38. Who did you miss?
the most important persons in my life were always a phone call away

Mamang, and tita Evelyn.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
never met them in person, but I’ve been reading some good blogs lately.

Still people I read about on the Internet

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
It’s all worth the wait

I learned that God is really good, despite all the heartaches and trials, He’s still faithful.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
come on let your colors burst!

This is the best thing the best thing that could be happening…the best thing is that it’s happening to you and me!

*****AND LASTLY!!!
1) GOALS/DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR:
a. get married – yup finally happening!

b. lose weight – in connection with letter a, i’m finally  serious about this, been doing Zumba mostly!

c. travel

d. earn more than I’ve been earning for the past years

e. have a savings account

A. Have a healthy baby! – 20 weeks into my pregnancy and some of the anxiety is leaving me, but every day I still pray that there would be no complications and that baby and I would be healthy all the way until after I give birth!

B. Travel – kahit sa Phillippines lang. I want to go to Bacolod after I give birth! I originally wanted to travel for our first year anniversary but seeing that I would be 7 months pregnant by then, I don’t want to risk going anywhere that’s too far.

C. Get an online job – I want to be a stay at home mom, but I still want to earn money, so I’m looking into how I can earn money without having to leave our baby at home.

D. Savings account

The Phase 1 of the training was all about humility. I learned that there are two kinds of pride: pride of the big wheel, which is thinking you are more than what you are, and pride of the big worm, which is thinking you are less than you are. Apparently, having a pity-party makes you a prideful person. It’s not easy realizing the kind of person that I was after hearing this. It’s funny that I was so convinced after the first night that I was guilty of the pride of the big wheel. But after listening to the lecture the next night, I was guilty actually of both. But regardless of what I was guilty of, I was convinced of one thing, I am nowhere near humble as I thought I was. Humility is all about yielding our personal rights to God, these are the rights that we all feel entitled to, they’re not the “bad” rights, but the ones that we’re so used to having that we feel like we deserve it. Much like vow of to not drink wine. Apparently wine to them was a staple, it’s like drinking water, so to give up their right to drink wine was giving up something that was so vital to them.

On the last day of the training, we listed down the rights that we were going to give God. I was really crying at this part. Mind you, even though I’m an emotional person and I cry easily, I wasn’t really crying much throughout the training, I didn’t have any emotional moments, which I really loved about the Nazirite training because I realized that you don’t really need a crying session to know that you’ve just had a breakthrough. We’re so used to altar calls and we feel that it’s only genuine when there are tears and lamentations involved. Now I know that God has been revealing things to me throughout the service nights but this time I didn’t need an altar call (there wasn’t really one, all we had were group discussions) I didn’t to cry my eyes out to know that God is changing something in me. Anyway back to the activity we did. Ptr. Jerome asked us to write down the rights that we were going to give up to God. I was really crying because I knew the first thing that I was going to write.

For years now, it has always been my desire to study abroad. Now we don’t have them money for this, so my only hope is to get a scholarship. For this past, let’s say 4 or 5 years, I have been researching about different scholarships and schools that I can join. Even after getting married, I tried to look for schools and scholarship grants that would allow me to bring my spouse to the country where I can study. Now, am I sure that this is God’s will? The truth is I’m not. I just know that I want to . I keep trying to justify that if it is so vital to me, that when I see pictures and testimonies of people studying abroad, there is just something that’s so moved in me that I cry, then it must be the will of God. But I never got a confirmation. So to give up that right, that desire, that dream for me, it’s so big for me. I was crying my eyes out. This was something I’ve wanted since college. To study abroad, to travel, to soak up a different culture. And to give it up, to give up the right , it’s like taking a small piece of me. Do I still want to go? Yes! I talked to my husband about it, and he understood. I know that it’s not the time yet. He also wants so study at an institution abroad, and we might be able to get in, because there’s a scholarship for couples. But he says it’s not time yet. He wants to finish his recital at UST so he can graduate. I understand, and I will support him on his decision. I’ll still pray for my dream, pray that if it is not His will, I’ll pray that He take away the desire, but if it His will, then I pray that during this time that we are waiting for that moment when he would grant it to us, that I would grow. I heard this from my dad’s preaching yesterday. That aside from God saying yes, no, or wait in our prayers, we as Christians , while we wait for the answer , should grow. Because maybe it hasn’t been granted to us because there are still things that we need to understand, things we need to learn.

This wasn’t the only right I gave up yesterday, there’s still more but I felt like this was the one that God wanted me to yield. It’s not easy, but knowing the kind of God I have, the God whose plans are not to harm me, but to give me a hope and a future, them I’m at peace

There’s so much more I learned during the Nazirite training! I might share some more of them over time, some others I’d like to keep to myself first. It’s so hard to explain though, you have to be there to experience it! Now Yash and I can’t wait to attend Phase 2 and 3 next April at Baguio. We’re already saving to make sure we can go!

P.S.

It was Grandparent’s Day yesterday! I’m thankful to all the grandparents in the world, especially to my Tatang, you”re such a good example to your children, I know that I have a wonderful father because you were an amazing father to him; to my Inang – I’ll always remember the stories you use to tell us when we were kids, I’d like to think I have all these stories in my head because you’re the original storyteller in the family; to my Mamang – I miss you! You’ve always been the core of the family. Even though you’re gone, you’ve left more than enough love and memories to keep us together; and finally to my parents – even though I have no children to call you Lolo and Mamu yet, I can’t wait for the day when I’ll have them and you can spoil them and raise them and love them like how you love us! Even though these are difficult times, I am at peace when I bring children into this world knowing that you will be one of the constants in their lives. I love you!

The nurse told me that when my blood tests came back, I had high cholesterol, and high SGPT, same problem that I has last year, and now I have to go on a low, fat, low salt and low carbs diet. The only question I have is…..

What can I eat? Because I know I can’t eat processed food anymore (goodbye canned tuna and corned beef) I can’t eat a lot of rice (ugh, this is really hard) I can’t eat fried chicken also! Hay I need to talk to a nutritionist to find out for sure.

I ate oatmeal with raisins for breakfast this morning. I’m planning to eat 1 cup of rice once a day (lunch only), then oatmeal and fruits again for dinner. Oh and I need to exercise! I’m doing Zumba again. I started the other day, but couldn’t yesterday because of my hypertension.

So why the sudden drastic change? Well aside from the fact that I don’t want to die young, I want to be healthy because by next year we want to have a baby, and I am not going to attempt to get pregnant when I’m like this. Hopefully this will really motivate me to make a lifestyle change.Fingers crossed!

So again I go back to my question, what can on who needs to be on a low fat, low salt, low carbs diet eat????!!!!

Anyway, one of my latest blog posts was about my grandmother being in sick. Despite all , the care given to her , she passed away last July 15,2011. I already got a call from my mom the night  before. Just as we were about to open the gate to the house, she called me and said that we should go to my tita’s house (where she was staying), because in her words “nanghihina na si Mamang”. Apparently earlier that night, they couldn’t wake her up,  couldn’t find any pulse. When Yash and I got there , she was somehow better, although she was still unconscious. My cousins were taking turns talking to her, when I got there, I just told her that I loved her over and over again. I wanted to sing to her, but I didn’t know what to sing. When my sister got there, she started singing “Ikaw” to Mamang and she suddenly opened her eyes and asked for food. We went home at around 1 am already, so I decided to not go to work anymore because I was exhausted. I was talking to our HR manager when she informed me that my dad just called Papa to tell him that Mamang had died.  That was around 8:30 am. I cried and just hugged Yash, but at the same time, I felt peace, I knew she was in a better place now.  We got to the house at around 11 am, her body was still there.Most of the family left to prepare for her wake, I went to her side, parted her hair and kissed her head. Then I went with my mom to Divisoria because she wanted to buy something for Mamang to wear.

In her interment 4 days later, Papa Ray said that she simply changed her address. We were all singing “Hawak Kamay” during this time because while she was still bedridden, she wanted someone holding her hand all the time and my cousins and aunts and uncles would all take turns just holding her hands. It doesn’t hurt so much now. There’s still a twinge in my chest whenever I realize that she’s gone and I won’t be able to see her anymore. But I have all these memories of her in my head, and I revisit them every time  I miss her. Like the time she taught me how to use chopsticks, or on her 80th birthday 5 years ago when the whole family arranged this  surprise party for her, and she looked so beautiful and so happy in her dress, or last New Year’s Eve when, for the first time in the years that we’ve been meeting as a clan, we all decided to have our pictures taken with her as a family. Part of me knew that this would  be the last New Year we would have with  her. Don’t ask me why, I just knew. But as we were taking pictures, and it was time for the “wacky” shots, she was the most game out every one, and our pictures turned amazing.

During the last night of her wake, instead of mourning her death, we celebrated her life. True, not all members of the family could stand up and talk about her, most of us were just crying, but it was the good kind of cry. And the next day, when we buried her, the tears subsided, the grief had somehow quieted, and when we all went back to our tita’s place, we were all smiling and happy again, knowing wherever she was, she was now happy.

I have many memories of my father. About 5 years ago, I wrote this for him on his birthday. I still have a lot of moments during my childhood up to now where I see the kind of father I have. I’m so proud to call him dad. 

1. The David and Goliath story – when we were kids my dad would read us bedtime stories from the Bible. I remember this one time when I fell asleep to his “Goliath” voice mocking David for his size. I don’t know many fathers who would sound like a radio play just to make their kids fall asleep, but my dad does. He still does it now when he preaches though, he would talk animatedly to the congregation when he would make a point in his teachings…guess he had a lot of practice with us when we were kids. =)
2. The Midnight Math Madness – My dad is amazing with numbers, he even corrected one of my Math teachers when he found a discrepancy in one of my homework, so every time I would experience difficulty in any of my Math subjects, I would go to him. And there were times that it would take hours for me to understand but he would always be patient enough to teach me and make sure I get it.
3. The Jollibee midnight snacks – well not really midnight, but late snacks. I remember when we were kids and we would review every exam time, there was one time that my sister and I begged our dad to buy us snacks while we were reviewing, so he went out of the house and when he came back, he had plastics of our favorite food from Jollibee. Who wouldn’t want to study hard after that?
4. Guitar “Hero” – When I was young I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, I would watch my cousins play their Rivermaya and Eraseheads songs and wish that I could do the same. So I went to my dad and told him I wanted a guitar. He asked me if I really wanted one, I looked him in the eye, and said yes. He walked away and I knew that I would get one. True enough, that same afternoon, he arrived home with my guitar. I still have it until now, although my sister is laying claims on it at the moment, but in my heart, it’s still mine. 
5. Swimming time!!! – my dad was the one who taught me how to swim. I know, to any child, to be able to swim on your own is a feat, sort of like a rite of passage, much like riding a bike for the first time without  any training wheels. It was at Paradise Resort in Malolos, Bulacan, where my dad taught me along with my cousins and sisters. He took us to the deep end, and from there we had to figure out a way to stay afloat. I learned how to swim that day, and now I may be scared to death of heights, but I’ll never be afraid of water.

Admittedly, I’m a daddy’s girl. He has always served as one of my inspirations. I am so proud of him, and can only hope in my heart that someday I’ll be as wise and generous as him! I love you Daddy!

P.S. My dad just bought a new XBOX 360 with Kinect for the whole family to enjoy! Goodbye early nights, hello sleeping late due to Kinect Adventures!

I didn’t go to work last Monday so I’ve had about 5 days of vacation now, except that for the last couple of days I have been feeling unwell. It’s a good thing I decided to go to Divi and buy the beads, lace and bone I need for my gown last Wednesday instead today.

Now on my last two days of vacation, because believe me weekends are not rest days in my world, I’ve started with some DIY projects, which I will continue after I’m done cleaning my room  - again! I’ve got my work cut out for me because I not only have to organize my closet but rearrange my bookshelf too – and I have a lot of books.  It would have been fine except my nose is dripping and my head feels like it’s going to explode.

Ugh. I need another rest day next week.

The food was good. I especially like the Vegetable Moussaka paired with the yogurt that had a hint of beer in it. The flavors really went well together. I liked my Tehrani salad, although I thought the grapes would be bigger, cut in half instead of the tidbits that I tasted. Yash’s dish was also good, but I liked the Moussaka better. I love the taste of their pita bread! I could eat it even without any filling. Our bill amounted to Php 740. A little expensive for us, because we’re used to the price at World Persian Kebab and Grilled Tomato. I probably won’t go back to eat there, except maybe buy pita bread.

This is becoming a yearly thing, but I guess it’s a good way of summarizing what the past year has been like, especially with me not really writing a lot the past year, this is a good way to catch up with the events of last year.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

I can’t think of one! And this is not good! What an unproductive year for me! Sure I did things, but something I’ve always done! I suppose this should be a wake up call for me, this year should be different, that by 2011, I would fill this space with a lot tales of adventures and travels, and activities I have never tried before.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don’t like making resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?
None, thank God.

5. What countries did you visit?
FAIL! Again, I was not able to go anywhere, so this year, I will make it  a goal to put a stamp on my passport.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A savings account – yup still, but this year I think we’ll make it a joint savings account =)

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I can’t remember the date, but the moment we finally decided.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not traveling, and not losing weight =(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, just the usual dysmenorrhea

11. What was the best thing you bought?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I honestly don’t know

13. Whose behaviour appalled you and made you depressed?
People from church, some students

14. Where did most of your money go?
food – isn’t it obvious?

15 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
New transitions in church

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter?  fatter? thinner, just slightly
iii. richer or poorer? poorer, but for the best reasons!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I’d saved more money

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate!

20. How will you be welcoming the New Year?
We’ll go to my Tita’s house in Tandang Sora, then to the Flores side of the family, then to the Dela Cruz the next day, then on the day itself we’ll go to Bulacan

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Even more in love

23. How many one-night stands?
None!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, Cougar Town, The Big Bang Theory

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Thankfully none

26. What was the best book you read?

I loved the Kate Daniel series by Ilona Andrews

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
just fell in love with music all over again

28. What did you want and get?
plan for something

29. What did you want and not get?
travel

30. Favorite film of this year?
I loved Flipped, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

turned 28, traveled most of the day to go to Bolinao

32. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

putting a stamp on my passport, enrol for my MA

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
comfortable

34. What kept you sane?
Yash, reading, God

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp – this has been constant for the past 3 years!

36. Who is your real-person crush?
duh?

37. What political issue stirred you the most?
elections!

38. Who did you miss?
the most important persons in my life were always a phone call away

38. Who was the best new person you met?
never met them in person, but I’ve been reading some good blogs lately.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
It’s all worth the wait

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
come on let your colors burst!

*****AND LASTLY!!!
1) GOALS/DREAMS FOR THE NEW YEAR:
a. get married – yup finally happening!

b. lose weight – in connection with letter a, i’m finally  serious about this, been doing Zumba mostly!

c. travel

d. earn more than I’ve been earning for the past years

e. have a savings account